"Oh Oh Oh"

This one hits a little too close to home. Way back in 2007, after visiting a Sharper Image and realizing the company's business plan was totally based on finding objects to "put ipods into," I tried to think of the most ridiculous items that could fall into this category. I wasn't too far along before I felt I struck gold - the iBrator.

The idea was a simple one: take a traditional women's (or men's, I don't hate) sex toy (color and size are your preference, ladies, although I still wish some of you were more open to "smallish and pale") and sync it up with your mp3 player.

The best part was, rather than just being "something" with an ipod in it, this would actually relate to the music. Slow it down with a little Al Green, increase the tempo with some Bell Biv Devoe, and then maybe finish it up with something that you would potentially drink sizzurp and grind on a random dude to. I'm thinking a bit of Lil Jon. Or if you want to rock your pace up, might I recommend some Heart, because let's face it, the iBrator is for cougars first, everyone else second.

So imagine my dismay that night when I discovered the OhMiBod, which is pretty much exactly the thing I thought of. And what should I find when I search for "Oh Oh Oh" but the OMB website. It's an old wound, but seeing it flooded my brain with thoughts of what might have been. Someday I will find something of my own to put an ipod into. Someday.

Maybe a Keurig machine? The music could cover that annoying noise it makes. Could different songs match different flavor cups? See, the wheels are always spinning.